Six Years and Counting

Date: 8th September 2009
Number of roundabouts successfully traversed today: 22
Number of near-death experiences today: 2
Counts of invisibility today: 4

As this is my FIRST EVER BLOG (she finally works out how to use a computer), I suppose I should introduce myself. I am a 29 year old woman, who lives in Concrete Cow Land and has the World's Most Irritating Job Ever (TM). I have been described as a Renaissance woman, due to my wide variety of skills, hobbies and talents. This looks good on a C.V., but actually means I can't commit to any one thing for very long and am, indeed, a Jack of all trades.

In fact, the only thing I have stuck with is my boyfriend of nearly 10 years, who I will be marrying in October 2010, all going well. He is a great guy and perfect for me - slightly autistic, easily amused and not in slightest bit interested in how my day went.

Together, we have lived in Concrete Cow Land (CCL) for just over 6 years. We used to live in London. We used to have a social life and access to some of the world's most wonderful amenities. And then I decided we needed to buy a house and CCL was the most logical choice. Note to any men reading this: Don't listen to your girlfriends if they suggest moving out of the Big Smoke. In fact, lock them in a wheelie bin until they come to their senses.

As it is, the BF kindly agreed and here we are. The most prominent features of my adopted home town are 300+ roundabouts and a 1970s shopping centre. That and the Brothel Bambis. Ah, perhaps I should explain. Brothel Bambis are late teen/early twenties women who dress in stupidly short and tight clothes and are bright orange. All provincial towns have them, but CCL seems to breed them. Not that I can talk - after 6 years here I find myself donning giant gold hoop earrings with 'Love' suspended from their centre, and sparkly jackets with leggings and 4in heel boots. I guess you can say that I've gone native.

That's not to say that the odd amusing thing doesn't happen here. We went out on Saturday night, and I spent an enjoyable evening watching twenty-something year old men practising handstands on the flower pots outside the pub for about an hour. We must find our amusement where we can.

I spend most of my time hiding in the local cinema watching pretty much anything I can. I went to see District-9 and 500 Days of Summer last week, both of which I enjoyed for their different merits. One for its cute aliens and quirky outlook on politics, the other for its cute leading man and its quirky outlook on love. I am an unashamed fan of sci-fi and my top two favourite films are "The Terminator" and "Star Trek XI", and I love programmes like "Heroes". The fact that Zachary Quinto features in two of the above certainly helps. I would in fact stalk Mr Quinto if I could actually rouse myself out of my daily apathy. Actually, I fancy the pants off Eli Roth too (Inglorious Basterds FTW!), but that is probably because he looks exactly like Zachary Quinto. My God, if I could find slices of bread large enough, I would wrap those two honeys into a sandwich, oh yes :)

My second great love after my BF is my little cat, Lilly. She is a rescue cat who has a predilection for eating moths and licking my face. She is a beautiful, absolutely tiny B&W cat with about 2000 whiskers and the sweetest personality. She also has a look about her that suggests she wouldn't wait long after your death before eating your face. In fact, I think if I slept in too long I would wake up without a nose. She mended my broken heart after my last (and first) cat, Mrs G, died from bowel cancer in April. I was devastated, and Lilly has brought joy back to my life. I know I sound like a crazy cat lady now, but luckily the BF is even crazier about cats then me! Yay!

I have spent my day trying to work, but really calling various registrars to try and sort out my wedding. I want to get married in October next year, but I can't book a registrar until 12 months before, no exceptions. So, I have the venue, the dress, the cake and the photographer, but no one to perform the ceremony yet. Luckily, I have a willing twin sister who has agreed to get ordained for me if it all goes tits up. I think she would be a brilliant minister, and would give me a kick-ass wedding. I think she'd probably spontaneously combust, as she hates public speaking, but it would be good fun.

My engagement has been long and long in coming. The BF and I got engaged last year after a whirlwind romance of 8 years, after we attended his cousin's wedding. We will have been engaged for 2.5 years before the wedding. We aren't being obtuse, the long engagement is because my gorgeous older sister got married this year and my pops wanted another year to save up! I was hardly going to complain, since he wants to pay for it. I've been the most patient of all brides-to-be, trying not to steal my sister's thunder over the past year as she prepared for her marriage. I have just started to get excited about my own wedding, and last week my bezzie mate got engaged and will now be having her wedding 6 months before me! I am thrilled for her, especially as I introduced her to her husband-to-be, and also because I now have someone to come to the wedding fairs with me. I have to admit to a moment of jealous selfishness, as I wanted the year for me, but I was struck with maturity within minutes. We are in fact off to scout out venues for her this weekend, and I'm really looking forward to it. It will be nice to have someone to share the crazy with. I can't show the BF - now is not the time to show him how mental I actually am!

So, that is my life today. I shall finish my glass of Riesling and head to bed. I don't think I can stomach watching any more cows be castrated today.